Mat 5:31-32 –"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”
In 2011, Author Jessica Hagy wrote an article in Forbes Magazine called, “Loopholing: Seeing the options between the rules.” In her opening paragraph she wrote, “Loopholes—they keep lawyers employed, the rich out of jail, and all of us on our toes. An omitted clause that negates the spirit of the law. A line that can be read in a dozen different and correct ways. An action that is not explicitly forbidden, and is thus allowed. These are opportunities—and not just for the sneaky or the nefarious.” The author of this article believes that loopholes are just part of the landscape. Loopholes make big things possible, and that the bigger your goals are, the fewer guidelines you will have to contend with. Basically, looking for loopholes makes your life easier and gives you the competitive advantage. Is this what Christians do when marriage becomes too difficult? Do we look for the loophole to opt out and find something better? Are the statements from Jesus in Matthew 5 and 19 the loopholes to our problem?
If there are two authentic believers in Christ who are joined in marriage, they have a much greater calling than how the world perceives marriage. Really, it’s only Christians who even understand marriage. It is only those in Christ who can even live out a calling for marriage we see in the Scriptures. See how Paul describes marriage in Eph 5:31-33 – "‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Paul refers back to Genesis 2 just like Jesus does and says that this whole statement is a picture of Christ and his church. So every Christian marriage is a picture of the gospel.
If the gospel is reflected in marriage, how should we live that out when one spouse grievously sins against the other? We should remember that every Christian has not just sinned against another sinful human being, even if it is your husband or wife. We have all sinned against the God of the universe in all his perfection and power. Every sin against God is as bad as the other and is the very reason we needed Jesus to redeem us with his blood. He bought us and paid the bride price with a sacrifice that meant enduring the eternal wrath of God on our behalf. Through his sacrifice for our sins, the church became his bride. And if you have truly come to Christ in repentance and faith, his sacrifice for you means that he is holding you as his bride despite all your flaws, and he is never letting you go even though you are as bad as an adulterer. The biblical definition of marriage depicts the repentance and trust we have in Christ and God’s grace and eternal love for us.
If we are living out that gospel, do we, even in the face of sin, need a loophole when serious problems and dissatisfactions arise?
Should we not be more concerned with maintaining God’s intent for marriage as we read it in Genesis 1 and 2, echoed by Jesus in Matthew 19, and reiterated by Paul in Ephesians 5? Christians are called to be a picture of Jesus no matter how grievous the sin might be. We are to remember the permanency of our vows before the Author of marriage, “until death do we part.” And we must remind ourselves of the words that Jesus says after his statement about divorce in Matthew 5, “Let your Yes be Yes.”
There is no doubt that marriage can be tough, and enduring difficulty is greater for some than others. Even so, we need to remind ourselves that as marriage portrays Jesus’ forgiveness of our sins, we are able to do the same. Our focus therefore is not on the exception or the escape clause, but on fighting our hardest for the permanency of that which is God’s creation and to do so in the redemptive power of Christ. Loopholes are not our answer, Jesus is.