Do you ever have that lingering feeling of animosity toward someone you thought you had forgiven? Do you ever wonder if your expression of forgiveness is actually matching your behavior and attitude toward that person? How can you act out what you don’t feel? For too many of us there is a divide between expressing forgiveness and feeling it, and it is only exacerbated when we remind ourselves of past wrongs committed against us. Our actions and words tend to match those reminders rather than the forgiveness we want to express. Perhaps you even find yourself watching intently for an opportunity to pounce on the next wrong so you can tally up the list of sins against you. Ultimately, it’s possible to speak words of forgiveness that have little to no effect, and that makes forgiveness one of the most difficult virtues to possess.
Perhaps you have heard the statement, “I’ll forgive, but I’ll never forget.” In one sense, unless we have a physical problem with our memories, it’s impossible to forget. In another sense, not remembering a wrong is an intentional part of forgiving a debt. This is the way God himself forgives. Obviously, God knows everything, past, present, and future. While God never forgets any single occurrence in all of time, he tells us that he does not remember the sin he’s forgiven. When chastising Israel for their lack of repentance, God says, “I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” – Isaiah 43:25. Israel needs to be reminded that they are ignoring the only true and living God who can comprehensively forgive them of their sin. This same sentiment is echoed through the author of Hebrews. “For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.” – Hebrews 8:12.
It’s not that God forgets any past detail, it’s that he no longer holds it against us nor does he use it against us. In fact, in the mercy of God our whole relationship changes. We go from being objects of wrath to children. Through God’s forgiveness, found in and through Christ’s atoning work on the cross, our relationship changes from being categorized by judgment to being categorized by mercy. Romans 9:22-23 – “What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory.” It has always been God’s eternal pleasure to forgive his elect and display the glory of his merciful heart.
When Peter asks Jesus about the nature and extent of forgiveness, Jesus answers by telling a parable. In the parable, Jesus describes a servant who owed his master an insurmountable debt. After begging for the master’s patience so that he might have time to repay him, the master absolves him of the debt, and Jesus uses this to represent the comprehensive nature of God’s forgiveness. The debt is forgiven, not partially, not mostly, but in full. When God forgives, all is forgiven. Matthew 18:27 – “And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.” When we read these words in context of Peter’s question, the reality is driven home like a stake through our hearts. Jesus is describing God’s forgiveness to Peter to show how Christians are to forgive others. In fact, the point of Jesus’ parable is that those who have been forgiven comprehensively are to forgive others comprehensively.
In Isaiah 59:2, we are told that our sin blocks us from God and creates separation. Without God’s forgiveness, sin is situated between us and God. But Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.” When God forgives, he treats us as if our sins are situated in an infinitely opposite direction from us and God. This is comprehensive forgiveness. This is what God expects of us.
If you are still counting every transgression or harboring resentment after expressing forgiveness, you are not there yet. It’s time to stop remembering the sins you claim to have forgiven and start forgiving people like God has forgiven you. It’s time for you to be intensely intentional and forgive like God does…comprehensively!